maybethings replied to your post: bendettos replied to your post: …
Varric used Chest Hair. It’s super-effective! Marian became infatuated!
And it also has an unintended Friendly Fire aspect:
Oh Marian, you goober.
June 2013
bendettos replied to your post: thesunfloweramazon replied to your post: woah…
Loving Amell’s beard, now the real question is if he has chest hair (not that it could compete with Varric’s)
Maybe a bit? But seriously, no mage can ever topple varric in that department. I mean, they can try…
when is bioware gonna create their own theme park similar to disney land except there is mass effect areas and dragon age areas and jade empire and other bioware game-themed sections of the park and people in costumes dressed as the characters walk around and on halloween they fill the park with people dressed as husks and darkspawn and they sometimes chase you around
They could make a replica Hanged Man where people can go to eat and there could be folks dressed as Isabela and Varric who walk around and interact with people.
And Qunari that walk around the park. An Arishok face character could say “you should all be grateful” whenever he poses for photos.
the best hd in the world can’t fix awkward
Probably the highest-quality fade-to-black ever made.
It finally happens.
Varric has become a romance option.
He and the Inquisitor confess their feelings and share a passionate kiss. The Inquisitor backs on to the nearby bed, watching as Varric loosens the red cloth around his neck and slowly pulls away his armored chest plate.
There is his chest hair. It’s as thick and glorious as ever.
Varric heads towards the bed.
His chest hair extends.
It slowly grows across the screen, cloaking the impeding sex from view.
Fade to black via chest hair.
As much as I try to play it cool, after seeing dat dorf all that brave tsundere facade I put up had completely shattered, revealing that same gal back in 2010-ish who was forever doomed after the first character design reveal.
So, I’m sorry for the current and upcoming deluge of Varric posts—
—-wait;
I’m not.
HOHOHO.
With that, I’ll leave you with an oldie goodie:

- 911: What's your emergency?
- Me: I would like to report a crime. A robbery, in fact.
- 911: What was stolen?
- Me: I have been robbed of Varric's chest hair.
- 911: I don't think that's an emerg-
- Me: NO, YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.
Ya know, I feel sorta terrible.
Because Varric looks so sad in the DA:I trailer and you can just tell that so many bad things are happening and it’s hitting him so hard and I just wanna see him get dozens of hugs and all the comfort.
But at the same time, I’m still over here just thinking “god, you look so good, you sexy dwarf.”

Please let Varric be a love interest
please let Varric be a love interest
PLEASE LET VARRIC BE A LOVE INTEREST
Oh for the love of Andraste, let me finally romance Varric!
*insert every THIS gif ever made*
- A better range of skintones
- More hair styles
- FRECKLES DAMMIT
- SCARS TOO
- Control over body shape/size
- Varric to be a LI
- Wait that last one doesn’t have dick to do with the CC
- But for real
- Gimmie all of this anyway please
- Especially the Varric part
Varric’s chest hair is covered because his stories have made him renowned for it and he’s trying to stay inconspicuous.
I theorize that under the red scarf the armored chest plate we see IS his chest hair. It just hardened to provide him double protection and to help him keep a low profile.
Okay, I really need to sleep. It’s going to be extra difficult now, but I’m wiped out and I need to try, so I shall halt the reblog spree for now.
But seriously, this is so exciting.
I haven’t felt this incredibly hyped for the continuation of a game series in a long time.
I’m giddy and anxious and wondering what will happen and how the fandom will react and the prospect of everything that’ll be coming, not just in the game but within the fandom, has me so stoked.
Just picture the new fanart, the new fans, the new fanfics, the amazing new companions, the wonderful return of the old, the brilliantly composed Inquisitors that so many of us will create.
Can I just hug all of you and jump up and down for a while?





Something sorta like all that. XD *fingers crossed so hard*
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Sdsklsaktnrbtnaeiernjaeryjern thank you ⋧◡⋦
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You’re not creepy and thank you I’ll just be over here blurshing
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All of the yes. Just..today is….hnggggg…*falls over*
I’ve been battling with sleep today.
I kid you not literally everything has been happening since yesterday to keep me from getting any proper sleep.
Loud housemates, scratch happy cats, loud neighbors, an uncomfortably hot room, visitors showing up. All sorts of stuff.
I just got woken up again by the neighbors blaring music, so I went in to Fanaticality’s room to try to calm down before I put a weary fist through the wall.
She smiled wide as can be and said “I have something that will make you feel better.”
Now, being tired as can be, I told her I found that doubtful.
Until she showed me a photoset of Varric.
Beautiful, high res, scar-faced, DA3 trailer Varric.
All my shit was promptly lost, I raced over to her computer, and watched the trailer.
Now I’m no less tired, but infinitely less angry about it
BECAUSE OMFG DA3
VAAAARRRRRIIIIC
MORRIGAN! YOU FLAWLESS, BEAUTIFUL WOMAN!
CASSANDRA!
HOLY BALLS IS THAT THE VEIL TEARING?
VAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIICCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC!!!!!!!!!!!!
You guys should’ve seen her. Throwing off her blanky and running over to my comp to stare at the screen. It was GLORIOUS.
Her:
Me:
Your room is colder than the friggin’ Arctic, dude, but there was no needing a blanky after seeing that dorf.
You’re lucky I didn’t explode and set your whole house on fire.
I didn’t even think it was possible for Varric to become even more attractive to me than he already was
but dat facial scar

Theory about the corpse Varric is standing over:
It is in fact: no one. That we know, at least. Guys, it was just a random body. However, I did think it was significant that they showed Varric in the way that they did, and especially what was said before his appearance:
“None shall be untouched…
The eyes of a devil, and he didn’t know devil’s could look like that. He thought they’d be all fire, all brimstone, all the darkest things in the dimmest light with the brightest phosphorescence of flame and death and dearth.
Instead she has the eyes of a devil, and they are only old, only…
it just figures varric would look more sexually appealing than ever
and he s t i l l wont be romanceable
Shhhhhhhhhh
SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
*fingers in ears because I will hold out hope forever*
But to those asses who called Varric butt-ugly back in pre-DA2 teasers, etc
FUCK Y’ALL
MY BABY’S ALL KINDS OF 3D-CINEMATIC-RENDERED BEAUTIFUL NOW
/wheezes
He’s stunning.
Absolutely stunning.
My breath has literally been taken away by him and by Morrigan and by everything sweet baby dragons omg






